Evan's First Post

by Evan

Holy shit is this the first time I'm posting on my own blog? Fuck yes it is and it's great to be here.  So ya maybe Ben got a little head start with 15 god damn posts before I even put up 1, but but it takes time to be this good at what I do. I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm lazy as all hell. Actually getting around to writing a post has taken me so long, I'm not sure Ben even thinks we're doing this blog thing anymore. I'm not even talking about relevant shit here, I just figured I might offer you the chance to get to know me before you waste a few precious minutes of your life actually reading the shit I write. And if it wasn't clear yet, this isn't gonna be a pg-13 fucking blog. I'm gonna write about the shit I wanna write about, and I'll say what I wanna say dammit. Freedom of speech, it's in the constitution, and that shit's like the bible.

All of my posts come with a side of freedom, and red, white, and blue for dessert. I'm pretty sure you can't even call yourself an American if you don't own at least one shirt with an eagle or a flag on it. The founding fathers definitely wrote that somewhere in the Declaration of Independence. Like "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men should rock USA attire at least once a week or thou est not a bro."

So ya, I guess what I'm really trying to say is enjoy the blog and USA! USA! USA!


http://hypervocal.com/news/2012/badass-patriotic-drawings-july-4/

Applying for Internships and Finishing Schoolwork

By Ben

What's up guys? I just wanted to come on here and apologize for not posting at all today, I was out of school sick with pneumonia and the flu all last week and I'm really behind in my schoolwork. Also, on top of that, it's officially internship panic season where every student on campus is desperately trying to find an internship. I've spent several hours today alone applying to a variety of business internships and summer assistant positions. I'll be sure to post more tomorrow, sorry about that, guys!

Why I'm Glad I wrestled in Highschool

By Ben

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In highschool I was undeniably an athlete. I played on three different varsity sports for four years straight, graduating with 12 varsity letters (the most possible). However, despite all of my involvement in different clubs and sports nothing has come even close to as beneficial as wrestling has. Here's why:

1) Fighting: Quite frankly, nobody wants to fuck with a wrestler. When you're ranked in the state or known to be a good wrestler people are not interested in getting in a tussle or bothering you. If you are to encounter an altercation you almost always have the upper hand. How many fights end up on the ground? Almost all of them. The second a fight involving a wrestler hits the ground it's as good as over.

2) Self-discipline: No other sport takes the self-discipline and determination that wrestling does. Not only is it one of the most challenging sports to participate in physically, it is even tougher mentally. Cutting weight is brutal (yes I know wrestling is not the only sport that involves cutting weight) and takes a toll on the body and the mind. When you're ten pounds overweight and have to weigh in the next day you're overcome with a sense of hopelessness and defeat. It takes a tough person to deal with the workouts alone without practically including forcing an eating disorder upon yourself.

3) The sense of accomplishment: When you go out there against an opponent it's just you and them. No other factors, nobody else to blame, it all comes down to who is better on that day. The fact that the fate of your match rests on your shoulders and your shoulders alone is special and rare in sports today. It annihilates the possibility of making excuses and gives wrestlers an unspoken respect for one another.

4) The fact that a match is not over until it's over: When you play lacrosse and you're down by ten points in the fourth quarter it's almost a guaranteed defeat coming your way. Wrestling is unique in the fact that no matter how badly you're losing you can always pull out a win. For those of you who are unfamiliar with wrestling the point system works like this: two points for a takedown, one point for an escape, two points for a reversal, two points for having someone on a shoulder blade for three seconds, three points for having someone on their shoulder blade for five seconds, and single points occasionally given for illegal moves and penalties. Regardless of the score of a match however, putting both of your opponents shoulder blades on the mat for two or three seconds (really depends on the ref) ends the match with you the victor. This is hands down the best part of wrestling for me. There is a never ending sense of urgency, you're never safe and you've never lost until that final whistle blows. Every single person who has ever wrestled has won matches they had no right winning and lost matches they should have been able to win in their sleep. Happens to the best of us, happens to the worst of us. Moral of the story is that wrestling taught me to never give up and to never take my position for granted. That's something that more people should understand.

My Grandmother's Alzheimers

By Ben

Hey guys, I know this is a little more somber than our average post here at The Dorm Room, but I wanted to share this with you guys. I had a school project in which I had to communicate memory to a reader, viewer, or listener through some form of expression. My grandmother passed away this past December and I thought this was a perfect opportunity to create a form of remembrance for her. I wrote a rather long poem/song that captures my understanding of my grandmother's situation as I aged and matured. I plan to hand write a copy and give it to both my father and grandfather.The font shrinking as the poem goes on is meant to represent the fading of my original memories of my grandmother as I grow up.

This is my story.

Ode to Janet

It is difficult to describe how I remember you

For as years slipped away, my memory has too

But despite the years past, I know where to start

Because to look into your eyes was to see into a pure heart

You were a kind soul; all you ever did was give

You may be the most genuine person that has ever lived

I have never once heard negativity come out of your mouth

For negativity was something you could do without

Forever the enthusiast, you supported everything I did

You loved me the way a mother loves her own kid

A woman of respect, beauty, and grace

These are qualities no disease could erase

I hope someday my daughter grows to be like the Janet from my past

Because you’re the kind of woman who’s memory will always last

You’d read me Green Eggs and Ham as I sat upon your lap

You always came bearing gifts that I couldn’t wait to unwrap

You brought my favorite muffins, delicious as could be

You always knew the best ways to spoil me

You’d stand by my bed and tell me a story as I fell asleep

You were the first one to run to me if I were to weep

A grandmother is someone who can never be replaced

They love you, care for you, and protect you when your heart aches

I wish I could go back, knowing what I know now, and see you once again

I wonder if you’d recognize your favorite little Ben

As time passes by, memories begin to fade

No matter what we do, they slowly wash away

Eroding from the mind, like a stone in a stream

Until all that’s left is a shadow of a dream

Like a word unreachable on the tip of your tongue

You forget what was true back when you were young

For you it was different, your memories faded fast

But my memories from when you were whole are the ones I want to last

I don’t remember exactly when I began to notice the change

But slowly things shifted; when you were here you were strange

You’d yell at Grandpa begging him to take you home

I’d listen from the top of the stairs, scared and alone

I didn’t know what was wrong and why you were being so mean

This was a side of you that I had never seen

I began to notice the differences, I caught on pretty quick

Daddy said you had Alzheimer’s and that you were sick

I was just a little boy, I didn’t really understand

So Daddy sat me down and explained while he held my hand

He said “Grandma is forgetting things, it’s part of her disease”

“All we can do is do our best to make sure that she’s at ease”

I went to bed confused and a little bit scared

Of how bad it would really be, I was completely unaware.

Slowly I noticed visits were fewer and farther between

I had reached an age where I knew what this must mean

I had heard my parents whispering about you getting lost around town

And how you got brought home by cops who found you wandering around

You had forgotten what roads would bring you back home

It had reached the point where it was unsafe for you to roam

I knew it was bad, but the severity took me by surprise

It really hit me when I looked into your eyes

I’ll never forget that look on your face

No recognition of who I was, as if I had been replaced

We are your family, but to you we were strangers

At times you even thought we were a danger

It broke my heart to look at you and see you looking back

Knowing that I could do nothing to put you back on track

As time passes by, memories begin to fade

No matter what we do, they slowly wash away

Eroding from the mind, like a stone in a stream

Until all that’s left is a shadow of a dream

Like a word unreachable on the tip of your tongue

You forget what was true back when you were young

For you it was different, your memories faded fast

But my memories from when you were whole are the ones that I want to last

It got bad to the point where my Grandpa needed help

He had come to his limit, he couldn’t do it himself

So eventually you moved out, and into your new home

But never once did he leave you alone

He visited you every day and I did when I could

If I was able to more often you know that I would

Despite the distance I prayed for you every night

I prayed for you to live, and for you to be alright

But I spent long nights awake, thinking in fear

Dreading the possibility that the end was near

I didn’t know how much time that you had

It haunted my whole family, especially my Dad

Then sleep came, from which you would never arise

You would never again open those beautiful eyes

We all wept for hours, hearts breaking in two

I couldn’t accept that I’d never again see you

The hardest part for me was not being able to say goodbye

But even if I had, you would not have replied

I knew you were in a better place but that didn’t make it easy

I didn’t sleep that night, my stomach felt too queasy

Even though you’ve closed your eyes to rest forever

I know you’ll be watching me through my future endeavors

I miss you grandma, more than words could ever describe

But I know that I am blessed to have had you in my life

As time passes by, memories begin to fade

No matter what we do, they slowly wash away

Eroding from the mind, like a stone in a stream

Until all that’s left is a shadow of a dream

Like a word unreachable on the tip of your tongue

You forget what was true back when you were young

For you it was different, your memories faded fast

But my memories from when you were whole are the ones that I want to last

I love you very much, and I always will

Memories fade in time, but Love remains still

Fights

By Ben

Alright guys, so I gotta ask this one. At what point is it reasonable to start a fight? Let's assume we're talking drunk college kids at a party, at one point can you throw a punch and not look like a huge douchebag? When they disrespect you? When they get in your face? When they get in your boy's face? Seriously, help a brother out here cuz I have no fucking idea.

This is a topic today because of two nights ago. I had maybe a little too much to drink before going  out to the soccer team's party. Went to the soccer suite, there were a ton of people there. I'm standing in a hallway talking to a girl when some kid comes up and starts pounding on one of the bedroom doors. I'm talking like kicking the door, banging on it as hard as he can, screaming at the top of his lungs. Basically just making a huge seen and being fucking annoying. I guess it was the kids room and he couldn't get in because someone was fucking on his bed but hey, that's his problem.

So after a minute or two of this kid throwing a tantrum outside the door I turn to him and say "Bro, knocking louder will DEFINITELY make him open the door. Trust me." The kid FREAKS out. Like I'm talking starts screaming so loud he's spitting on me, calling me a pussy piece of shit and a bitch and telling me to get out of the party because it's "his suite" and he can kick out whoever the fuck he wants. Yeah bro, sick. You live here, dope.

So the kids in my face screaming at me close enough I could have kissed the motherfucker and all I say is "You want me out? Remove me yourself you fucking pussy." Kid goes off. Absolutely loses his mind, not that I cared. At this point I was pretty heated too and I was absolutely done with this kids shit. A couple of the guys on the team saw the whole thing go down and as soon as they could tell it was going south they grabbed me. I did NOT want to leave. I was fighting all six of them as they tried to take me out of the room, all I wanted to do was go toe to toe with that motherfucker who thought he was hot shit.

When I got outside the seniors on the team were telling me to calm down and that I was being an asshole. Yeah, I chirped the kid but who fucking cares? Kids chirp all the time. If you're gonna take it personally and get in my face for it you have to at least be ready to throw up fists, right? Like it doesn't make sense to get in a kids face and tell him hes a pussy piece of shit if you're not going to fight him. Whatever, kid wasn't worth it anyway.

But seriously guys, at what point is it okay to throw the punch and not look like a prick? If you ask me, that motherfucker was asking for it.

Chick Makes a Lego Resume

By Ben

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Get the full story at: http://www.aol.com/article/2014/03/28/woman-s-lego-resume-has-people-talking/20859092/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl6%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D458876

AOL- "A college student made a resume out of LEGOs. She created a Lego version of herself, packaged it like the toy and put a resume inside!"

That'll certainly stand out from the pile. Bowman is majoring in Communication Studies at Northwestern University. She says a potential employer asked her to "create a piece of persuasive advertising with you as the product." Well, she literally did just that!

So I guess this chick made a lego model of herself, customized the package to feature her characteristics and submitted her resume with it? Genius. I wish I had thought of this. If this came across my desk I would instantly hire this chick. Its crazy, its different, its creative. Those are the kinds of people I would want working for me because these are the kinds of people who expand businesses. Seriously, I cannot give this chick enough credit. In today's day and age it's exceedingly difficult to differentiate yourself from your peers in what is an increasingly competitive market and this is the golden ticket to getting noticed.

What's weird to think about is what if crazy resume ideas like this become commonplace? What if every single person tries to do something unique and different to be noticed? Would that be a good thing or a bad thing? It's hard to tell. If everyone's different, you're all the same. 

With modern business evolving exponentially every time you blink this could be the next new thing to get hired. Get crazy, get creative, make yourself shine. Take after this chick ladies and gents, she clearly knows what she's doing. She's being noticed, and that's the name of the game. 

March Madness Reaches the Elite Eight

By Ben

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So obviously this time of year everybody is talking about March madness. Basketball this basketball that so and so is going all the way yada yada yada. So coming from somebody who is not that into March Madness- My bracket sucks. Absolutely fucking sucks. Like I should probably never participate in March Madness again it was so bad. The only thing I've still got going for me is the fact that I chose Michigan to come out victorious. I'm predicting Arizona vs Michigan and a Michigan state vs Florida final four. How confident am I? Way more confident than I should be. Final is going to be Michigan vs Florida with Michigan taking the Ship. Count on it.

A Moron's Guide to Getting A Girl Back to Your Room

By Ben
















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So many of you out there probably don't get laid that often. We've all got something working against us, whether its shitty game, a small dick, or an out of shape body you don't love to show off. There are ways around these things, however. And no I don't mean take "Extenze" or hit the gym (get off your lazy ass and do it anyway).

The fact of the matter is not a single human being on this planet understands women. Not even other women understand women. There are practically different classes of women for Christ's sake. There's the preppy girl, the slut, the tanning obsessor, the party animal, the athlete, the good girl, the girl who respects her body the committed student, the daddy's little girl, and many many more. Does one method work for every category of girl? NO ABSOLUTELY NOT.

You've gotta create your plan of attack differently depending on the type of girl you're going after. For example, party girls and sluts are much more likely to go home from a party with you than a good girl or a girl who respects her body. You've gotta know when you're willing to play the long game and more importantly when you're going to need to/ whether or not its worth it.

For this post we're going to focus on the party girls and sluts who are just out there trying to have a good time.

Say you're at a house party and people are dancing and you see an absolute smoke leaning up against the wall. What do you say to her? Some people like to try a corny pickup line, however this (despite being occasionally effective) is unreliable. Just go up to her not seeming too interested and strike up a conversation. Don't be a pussy. RADIATE CONFIDENCE. I can not highlight this enough, girls fucking love confident guys. You're sexy and you know it, smile, wink, flirt, charm the shit out of her. Eventually, if everything is going well, ask her to dance.

Okay so now you're dancing. You've gotta feel this part out carefully and read the signals she's sending. If shes dancing like a huge whore (I'm talking she puts your hands on her tits and she's completely bent over) you're probably in. If she dances with you for two songs and shows no signs of being bored or wanting to dance with someone else, its safe to go in for the neck kiss. Statistics show that 100% of girls love it when their necks get kissed.

You're kissing her neck now. She's probably getting more into the dancing, maybe taking your hands and putting them on her tits or crotch area (if you hadn't put them there yourself already). Eventually (usually like 15-30 seconds) after you start kissing her neck she'll turn her head and start making out with you. At this point you're doing fucking fantastic, keep it up. After a minute or two of this she'll turn around and you'll grind from the front and continue making out. You're killing it bro, I'm envious right now.

Now here's the huge make it or break it: getting her back to the room. You know you want her to go back, you think she wants to go back, how do you execute. First of all make sure it's been long enough/it's late enough (no girl wants to go back at 10:30). Also, make sure you've been dancing long enough and hooking up long enough that she's not just gonna bounce to the next guy but not go back with you. You've gotta make sure she's definitely interested in getting it in. If that's the case you've got a question to ask.

Do you wanna get out of here? This party is lame, let's go back to the dorms. I've got this KICKASS vodka back in my room if you wanna come take a shot with me? Any of these work however I usually use the vodka one (I always have some in my fridge, whether its an exciting brand or not). Pray to god she says yes, and after that enjoy yourself son.

You've Gotta Be Allowed to Drink After a Double OT Victory, Right?

By Ben















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Alright so here's what happened; yesterday after a thrilling double overtime victory for my college lacrosse team a bunch of the guys decided to go out. Our coach has a very strict "48 hour rule" where we cannot drink 48 hours before a game. We do have a game Saturday which means that drinking on Thursday night would be violating this rule. The guys went out anyway, were seen by a senior who was sober, and got ratted on to coach. Now there are eleven kids on our team who are suspended for tomorrows game.

Is this a dickhead move on coaches part or the seniors part? The coach should understand the need to celebrate after a win like that one! Let up, let the kids live who fucking cares if they have a few beers after getting a W? The senior technically did the right thing by telling coach, but still seems a little shitty to me. Settle it with the guys, punish them in a way that doesn't get them suspended. Just seems unnecessary. What do you guys think? Answer in the comments section.

Wilfork, You Back Bro?

By Ben

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What’s that? I’m a little late to the “Vince Wilfork staying in New England” party? Yeah, I am, I needed my beauty sleep.

Whatever. Moral of the story is this fucking animal is staying in New England! Look at Belichick working wonders per usual. We lose Talib and replace him with an upgrade, add offensive weapons to Brady’s arsenal, and manage to hold on to arguably our best defensive player after he requests a release. Magic. Pure fucking magic.

3 years $22.5 million with $3 million guarenteed? Jesus christ I wish I was good at football.

Also, don’t overlook the fact that this means that Wilfork will almost definitely retire a patriot. That’s huge. Vince is one of the guys people think about when they think New England Patriots. It would have been a real shame to have to see him go.

Also, belichick right now:

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