Fights

By Ben

Alright guys, so I gotta ask this one. At what point is it reasonable to start a fight? Let's assume we're talking drunk college kids at a party, at one point can you throw a punch and not look like a huge douchebag? When they disrespect you? When they get in your face? When they get in your boy's face? Seriously, help a brother out here cuz I have no fucking idea.

This is a topic today because of two nights ago. I had maybe a little too much to drink before going  out to the soccer team's party. Went to the soccer suite, there were a ton of people there. I'm standing in a hallway talking to a girl when some kid comes up and starts pounding on one of the bedroom doors. I'm talking like kicking the door, banging on it as hard as he can, screaming at the top of his lungs. Basically just making a huge seen and being fucking annoying. I guess it was the kids room and he couldn't get in because someone was fucking on his bed but hey, that's his problem.

So after a minute or two of this kid throwing a tantrum outside the door I turn to him and say "Bro, knocking louder will DEFINITELY make him open the door. Trust me." The kid FREAKS out. Like I'm talking starts screaming so loud he's spitting on me, calling me a pussy piece of shit and a bitch and telling me to get out of the party because it's "his suite" and he can kick out whoever the fuck he wants. Yeah bro, sick. You live here, dope.

So the kids in my face screaming at me close enough I could have kissed the motherfucker and all I say is "You want me out? Remove me yourself you fucking pussy." Kid goes off. Absolutely loses his mind, not that I cared. At this point I was pretty heated too and I was absolutely done with this kids shit. A couple of the guys on the team saw the whole thing go down and as soon as they could tell it was going south they grabbed me. I did NOT want to leave. I was fighting all six of them as they tried to take me out of the room, all I wanted to do was go toe to toe with that motherfucker who thought he was hot shit.

When I got outside the seniors on the team were telling me to calm down and that I was being an asshole. Yeah, I chirped the kid but who fucking cares? Kids chirp all the time. If you're gonna take it personally and get in my face for it you have to at least be ready to throw up fists, right? Like it doesn't make sense to get in a kids face and tell him hes a pussy piece of shit if you're not going to fight him. Whatever, kid wasn't worth it anyway.

But seriously guys, at what point is it okay to throw the punch and not look like a prick? If you ask me, that motherfucker was asking for it.

FIRST EVER MAKE 'EM WET MONDAY!

By Ben

Alright guys so from here on out I'll be posting a bit called "Make 'em Wet Monday" every Monday. Basically, its gonna be a short piece where I give you fuckers a pick up line to try out. Only the best pick up lines here, none of this corny shit that won't ever work.

So you see this girl (left) at a party and you've never talked to her before? Big deal. Grow a pair of balls, walk up to that chick and say, "Hey, I'm (Insert your name). I couldn't help but notice you and I had a question for you." The chicks gonna be like oh god whats this squid gonna ask me. Then you pull out this puppy: "I was wondering, does it make you self conscious to be the most attractive girl in the room?"

BAM. She's yours. eternally in love with you, that line is so good you'll have to get a restraining order when you're done with her. Trust me, its a gift but a curse. Use it wisely.

Final Four

By Ben

Well looks like I pretty much could not have been more off about my final four predictions. Arizona and both Michigans lost, who would have thunk it? Honestly though I'm not even mad. I'm pretty amped that uconn made it this far. I never saw that in a million years. Good for them though, good for them good for the program.

What's not cool is the police brutality videos coming out on youtube. Bro, cops are here to protect the students not assault them. This is like Blarney all over again. Figure it the fuck out campus PDs everywhere.

Seriously though, uconn fuckin partied hard after they made it into the final four, as they should.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIc4mdV_6pk    *disclaimer: I did not take the above video*

You've Gotta Be Allowed to Drink After a Double OT Victory, Right?

By Ben















http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2013/03/05/sports/05lizards2/05lizards2-articleLarge.jpg


Alright so here's what happened; yesterday after a thrilling double overtime victory for my college lacrosse team a bunch of the guys decided to go out. Our coach has a very strict "48 hour rule" where we cannot drink 48 hours before a game. We do have a game Saturday which means that drinking on Thursday night would be violating this rule. The guys went out anyway, were seen by a senior who was sober, and got ratted on to coach. Now there are eleven kids on our team who are suspended for tomorrows game.

Is this a dickhead move on coaches part or the seniors part? The coach should understand the need to celebrate after a win like that one! Let up, let the kids live who fucking cares if they have a few beers after getting a W? The senior technically did the right thing by telling coach, but still seems a little shitty to me. Settle it with the guys, punish them in a way that doesn't get them suspended. Just seems unnecessary. What do you guys think? Answer in the comments section.